34 Down, 6 To Go

So do y'all remember a loooooooooooong time ago when I was doing the MamaPop Loser plan? I said I wanted to lose 20 pounds, but that was a LIE. It was a lie I wanted to tell YOU AND ME. I lied to us! Shame on me! What I RILLY wanted to do was lose 40 pounds, and beeshes and besterds? I am six pounds away from that goal. Six pounds! 

I have dropped 34 pounds, and no fanfare for me, though, because those were 34 pounds I had no business lugging around ANYWAY. Do you know how I gained 40 pounds? By eating GARBAGE. Pizza! Calzones! Processed food and tons of sugar! What was I DOING??

Well, it's all a matter of control. My depression was raging, and I felt totally out of control over everything at the time. My apartment was a mess, my weight had ballooned, I was a disaster. And totally and completely out of control of everything. I was, to put it mildly, a complete trainwreck. Even my shrink told me she was scared that this was the episode she wasn't going to get me back from. 

Then, Stewie got sick. And I had the Zyprexa nightmare. And when my Stewie passed away and I woke up from the Zyprexa nightmare, I looked at the disaster my home, MY HOME had become, and scrubbed it from top to bottom. And I looked at myself in the mirror and said "Twenty pounds was grand, but all you did was cut out white sugar and white flour, and you can do more. So I decided that 40 was the goal. and dammit, I have a spotless apartment and six pounds to go till I hit my goal.

I couldn't save my cat, but I can have control over these things, dammit. 

Six pounds. Ain't no thang but a chicken wing. (which I will not be eating anymore.) 


34 Down, 6 To Go — 9 Comments

  1. I’ve love to hear what you did beyond cutting out white sugar and white flour…
    Congratulations on being so close to your goal. Based on the picture you posted earlier, you’re looking FAB.

  2. YAY!!! how awesome for you!!! I know how good that must feel… cutting out the processed foods and sugar is a great step and if you can keep up w/ it will make you feel so much better… I lost about 60 lbs doing just that after my horrible divorce and ended up feeling so much better for myself! I know I have more to go, but just knowing that I could do that much makes me feel that much better!

  3. That is awesome! I know you don’t want accolades but seriously, YAY FOR YOU! I’ve dropped 60 since my son was born last August and it does feel grand.
    I’m a tiny bit worried about the ‘control’ thing that you mentioned at the end – just don’t veer into ‘eating disorder’ territory. I’ve read that it is usually about being able to have control over something in your life.
    You look great in your pic so here’s a rah-rah for you to finish it out!

  4. Waaahhhhoooooooooo for you! BRAVO! I am impressed. Are you doing any exercise in conjunction with your new way of eating? I know how great it feels to shed weight, but I never lost the amount that you have accomplished. I do hope you are giving yourself a nice pat on the back. You are allowed to acknowledge yourself before you press on. I know you’ll make it! Cheering for you all the way!

  5. I know you say you don’t want the fanfare, but tough luck, sugar (which you’re not eating anymore)! You’re getting some! That’s hella awesome. My 25 pounds lighter body is reaching through the computer screen to fist bump you. Don’t be scared of the awesome, muscular power that is packed behind that arm. It only fist bumps with love!

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