My Jesus Year Approacheth

The illustrious, glorious and gorgeous ElleVee and I went to see Iron Man 2 yesterday, and it kicked some serious ass. Loved it, loved Robert Downey Jr, loved crazy ass Mickey Rourke, loved it all. It was sheer escapist entertainment, and that's exactly what I was looking for. What I was NOT looking for was what preceded the movie, which was wandering the mall, looking at all the teenagers doing the "Friday evening loitering" thing they do, which is a grave reminder that I have a birthday coming and whoa, boy, is it a big one. At least for me.

 You see, I'm turning 33, and the little Catholic School girl in me automatically thinks to the main man Jeebus, and you see, Jeebus did all his shenanigans at 33, so this is the year I have to do something epic, something that hopefully doesn't involve ending the year with nine inch nails jabbed into my dainty little hands and feet. I have a lot of piercings, but those are not ones I am interested in getting. 

Now, 33 could very well be a super year. The Super Sekrit Project could take off, which would mean huge stuff, or it could crash and burn, which would probably put me in the bin. Either way, something big will happen regarding that. Perhaps this year I'll actually find a boyfriend, because, my dear wee squirrels, you recall that it was around my birthday LAST year that I found out that I was being cheated on, and I haven't dated anyone since that debacle. So maybe that will change. (Stop laughing, it could happen.)

33 is the year in which two of my dear friends are getting married, AND two MORE of my dear friends are ALSO getting married, and those four people are all marrying each other, and so that's two weddings, four friends, two dresses, and a partridge in a pear tree, and I couldn't be more thrilled for them, except I wish they weren't so far away, because that will involve travelling, and I'm like fine china in that I don't travel well. Thankfully Jeebus (when he was 33) invented Klonopin. What? There are people who think ol' Adam and Eve hung out with dinosaurs, people. Jeebus could have invented Klonopin. Play along with me, dammit.

It'll be, hopefully, a year that I don't spend any time in the bin, or Daycare for the Deranged, or rehab, or any facility with locked doors, which would be grand, because I was 30 when I was in the 'hab, and spent loads of time during 31 and 32 in Daycare for the Deranged, so let's all hope that 33 is the year of no group therapy or macaroni art. That would be SUPER KEEN. 

So yeah, 33 could be a grand year. I still have a month and three weeks to mess up 32, (my birthday is June 30th) so that's MORE than enough time to get into loads of trouble and mess up royally, but I already have plans with the divine Miss Laroux to see sparkly vampires on my birthday, and we'll drag ElleVee kicking and screaming to that, which won't be too hard considering she is quite wee, and that will be an epic birthday, and then it's off to the races in my Jeebus year, doing something, anything, completely and righteously awesome, and we'll just have to wait and see what that is. Could be the END OF THE WORLD. Or the beginning. 

I can't wait to see. 


My Jesus Year Approacheth — 7 Comments

  1. My God, you know how to paint a picture with words! Not news, but thanks for bringing that into my life everyday. I just love you!

  2. My Jeebus year passed two years ago without so much as a spear in the side.
    Here’s hoping yours is as “uneventful.” 🙂

  3. Found you via Mr. Ebert, been loving reading along. First time commenter though….
    I turn 33 on July 24, and I’d been feeling kinda blah about it. But this essay? This makes me want to do something epic with *my* Jeebus year coming up. So thanks for the inspiration! Here’s to Super Sekrit Projects and other assorted shenanigans. 🙂

  4. First of all, you already made it past the 27 club, which not only pleases me but surprises me as well. When I was 33 I was thinking “wow, I made it longer then Bruce Lee, and he could kick anyone’s ass!” You will no doubt do something epic, you always do.
    PS: “without so much as a spear in the side…” You are a genius!

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