Common Sense: YOU.
CS: You need to slow DOWN.
Me: Tra la tra lee, can't hear you!
CS: You're Pollyanna-ing all over the joint, and it's nauseating. Plus, jinxsies.
Me: *claps hands over mouth* JINXSIES!
CS: We are on a don't ask, don't tell alert.
Me: Till Friday.
Me: We can talk on Friday.
CS: We'll be so excited about the kittens on Friday we won't have time for You Know What.
CS: You are making me physically sick. Which is an accomplishment, considering I'm a figment of your imagination.
CS: Also? No shenanigans tonight, you have to recap Dancing With the Stupids.
Me: I KNOW. I know. No shenanigans tonight. Writey writey. That's what I have to do.
CS: Good. And you have to work on the Super Sekrit Project. Seriously, dude.
Me: I am fully aware of that. We hateses the SSP right now. HATESES IT.
CS: You love it. It's just a bad patch of road is all. We'll get through it.
Me: This is the most infuriating blog post of ALL TIME. Our readers hate us now.
CS: They hate YOU. They sympathize with ME, having to put up with you when you're like Snow White with the cartoon birds and squirrels around you. You'd sing if you could, wouldn't you.
Me: I MIGHT ANYWAY.
CS: I beg of you, don't. Anyway, we have to go bury that poor little bird, c'mon.
Me: SO SAD!
CS: We can talk about the poor little bird.
Me: We found the remains of a baby bird on our porch. It was vair vair gross and dead, poor little thing. So we're putting on our rubber gloves and burying it today.
CS: We have to ask Mystery Korean Woman for a spade.
Me: She'll understand.
CS: I can hear it now…
Me: Why you bury dead bird? You get GERM!
Me: Well I don't want it decomposing on the porch. And it was just a little tiny itty bitty thing, we just need to bury it in our garden that isn't really a garden because I can't grow plants. I kill them dead.
CS: Just like the little bird. You're going to get a horrific germ, you know.
Me: Rubber gloves!
Me: We should really end this blog entry. It's entirely too silly.
CS: And infuriating. You've talked about how you can't talk about things, and then you talked about decomposing wildlife.
Me: Worst blog entry ever.
CS: For realsies.
Me: Should I take a picture of the dead bird?
CS: I'm going to pretend you didn't say that.
Me: Fine. *skips away*
CS: SKIPPING? I'm taking the day off. Obviously you aren't going to listen to me today anyway. I give up.
Me: La la la la la! Prepare the rubber gloves! We have a funeral to give!
CS: *shakes head in disgust* I'm truly sorry, readers. She's hopeless today.
Me: La la la!
CS: You make me sick.