A Question of Dignity (Yeah, Right)

Y'all? I apologize. It's as if I had twins around here, all you get are baby photos and silly stories about kittens, and this used to be a blog with some freaking DIGNITY. 

The World: No it wasn't. 

Me: Quoi?

The World: This blog never had dignity. Sometimes you're depressing, sure, but there was, and now definitely IS, no dignity whatsoever contained within. You're lucky that you've only lost HALF your readership, and not ALL of it. The others were just around to see when you fell down last, or to read horror stories about your drinking days. Dignity never had anything to do with it. 

Me: Well…You're right, I guess. That's rather disheartening. 

The World: Oh, it shouldn't be. You should be disheartened with the "content" as you call it, that you've been putting up lately. You got kittens, not BABIES. Enough with the cat blogs. 

Me: Well, that's not going to happen. They're too cute and ridiculous for me not to write about them all the time. 

The World: Yeah, and if that's the case, don't come whining to us about dignity, for God's sack. 

Me: Listen, this week has been insane. 

The World: EXCUSES! I thought you were supposed to be a WRITER. 


The World: We saw your shilling yesterday. All class, you are. 

Me: You're very mean this morning. 

The World: Tough love, babycakes. You need it. And you need to get back to work. Here, and on the Super Sekrit Project, now more than ever. And don't think we're sick and tired of hearing bits and pieces about THAT, and never hearing what the actual project IS. We're on the verge of not caring in the slightest anymore. 

Me: *silence*

The World: Very mature.

Me: You want mature? I'll give you mature, buster. Here's something REALLY MATURE. Guess what? Finn has a gas issue. Seriously, he almost made my eyebrows fall out last night.

The World: Really? We're really going there?

Me: You were mean, I talk about kitten farts.

The World: Dios Mio. This fantastic blog entry is done.


The World: Done. Over. Go play with your gassy kittens. 

Me: I'm awesome. 


A Question of Dignity (Yeah, Right) — 13 Comments

  1. OMG, cat farts are THE. WORST. And they are of the SBD variety so you get NO WARNING. Just a noxious cloud that usually seems to emanate from your lap. Right after they jump down. I’m always tempted to ask what Bonnie ate but 1) I know and 2) if I had to eat the crap, I’d be gassy too.

  2. I will totally trade you kitten farts for “my dog just ate a whole boiled egg” farts ANY DAY.
    Also? If having dignity means you can’t laugh at fart jokes and kitten antics, then I prefer to be undignified.

  3. I read your blog to keep up with pop culture and slang. Also, you are hilarious, quirky, and chock full of AWESOME! Additionally, pets = babies, do not feel ashamed of your focus on the wee ones. They need lots of attention to grow into well adjusted cats, like Lulu.. oh wait…

  4. But…I love hearing about the kittens. Don’t stop writing about the kittens! I mean, I like pretty much anything you write since you=awesome, but I definitely love hearing all about the kittens. And, I agree, pets=babies and don’t let anyone tell you different.

  5. No no no! I came for the mature ponderings about addiction and mental illness and how they’ve affected your life–but I stayed for the kittehs!! Also, what Carley said with the whole “I like pretty much anything you write since you=awesome” thing. 😀

  6. My only complaint about this blog entry is the LACK OF KITTEN PHOTOS. I mean, seriously. You can’t tell us how cute they are, and then fail to provide proof….

  7. Two things, I don’t always read your blog at your blog. It’s in my google reader feed, so sometimes I read it there. I wonder if other readers do the same, thus mucking up your count as to readership.
    Second, dignity schmignity. This blog can be about drinking issues or kitty farts or whatever, and I’ll keep right on coming back.
    When the kitties are big enough, you might try food that is made for sensitive digestive issues. My kitties were SOOO stinky. I tried so many expensive foods… bah. We ended up with the Purina One Sensitive Systems (even though I dont’ like that company) and they finally don’t smell like poo all the time. And their litter box is much nicer to clean.
    Good luck!

  8. i just wanted to let you know that my blog almost succumbed to the lure of all cats all the time as well recently. when i got my little guy i had nothing but kitten on the brain. i mean, i still do, but i just have to try like EXTR-Y hard to provide “normal” content now.
    as for kitten farts: HOLY HELL!!! i named my little monkey Scott but all i ever refer to him as is “Stinky” bc around the 3rd night we had him at home he stunk up our entire bed with his putrid farts. im talking some truly vile shit.
    your “true” readers will always love and come back for more bc you are you and that = awesome.
    the rest of ’em can suck it.

  9. I also read the blog entries in my RSS reader and only come to the blog itself when I think I might want to comment.

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