Lulu is HERE, Beeshes

Hello human biped food slaves.

The biped has been dreadful in keeping up with the blog, has she not? Shame. Do not pity her for the amount of work she has to do every day. SCORN HER. Nothing but scorn for the biped, do you hear me? I shan't tolerate pity for that pathetic creature.

All I hear all day is "Wah, I have so much to do, Boo Hoo, Mr. Monkeypants and I are getting together, sob sob, Auntie ElleVee is coming over to watch DVDs all Saturday, POOR ME. It's nauseating and pathetic and I cannot take it anymore. Look at me, I'm wasting away. 

YES. Yes that is one of the foolish children next to me. I was ASLEEP, ASSHOLES. I didn't KNOW the child was next to me, or else there would have been blood, I assure you. There is nothing more I hate than having one of the children near me. I hiss, and I smash them on their idiot little heads, but they come back for MORE! It's not MY fault that I give them the beatings they so richly deserve. I mean, LOOK WHAT THEY'VE DONE to MY BIPED.

Hahhahahahahaa. The biped hates that picture. You can see her bra and her face looks fat. HAHAHAHAAHAHAHAHAHAHA. That's why I put it in the post, assholes! Sometimes it is more than a cat can take, being in this madhouse, I mean, I have to KEEP WATCH over the biped so those little anklebiters don't take up ALL the snuggle time, I mean, a girl has STANDARDS.

I much prefer the human "Auntie ElleVee" who came over yesterday and sure, the freaking children used her as a couch, but I headbutted her anyway. 

So that is my life, human biped food slaves. Nothing but wretched children as far as the eye can see. I am late for their afternoon beatings, so I remain your lord and mistress always,




Lulu is HERE, Beeshes — 6 Comments

  1. Oh, Lulu…I don’t know how you do it! Putting up with the human aaaaand the kittens?!?! I have said it before but it bears repeating: you are the epitome of “grace under pressure.” I think Miss Banshee owes you more treats. Many more treats.

  2. Hang in there Mistress Lulu, Queen of the felines!!! Make the babies your slaves!!Akso remember to give momma luvs so you get more treatsies!! We humans fall for the lovey dovey stuff!!

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