Just Another Trip To The Drug Store: A Short Play

Scene: Walgreen's, getting mah brain pillz. 

Players: Yours truly, Hapless dude, Adorable cashier


HAPLESS DUDE is ahead of me on line. He is stammering compliments to ADORABLE CASHIER. She is looking like she would rather be anywhere, even on the MOON, rather than being hit on by this guy. YOURS TRULY, who is quite familiar with ADORABLE CASHIER, smirks and makes eye contact (mistake) with ADORABLE CASHIER. HAPLESS DUDE is clueless. We begin. 

HAPLESS DUDE: Um, uh, can I give you my phone number?


HD: I haven't given my number to a beautiful girl in two years. 

AC: Um…sure?

YOURS TRULY: *snorfle silently as I stare at AC's Gay Pride tattoo on her left wrist.*

HD: *trembling* Um, here's my number, I really look forward to talking with you. You're beautiful. 

YT: *stuffs fist in mouth*

AC: *sees me turning purple, gets the giggle-trembles* I'll put it right here in my pocket.

YT: *thinking* Aw, she's the nicest person in all the lands and into the seas. 

HD: Okay, look forward to talking to you! Bye! *leaves, looking at ADORABLE CASHIER on his way out*

AC: *to me, hissing and giggling* BITCH! I almost got away with it without laughing!

YT: Dude, that poor dude, dude. 

AC: I know! I mean, what was I supposed to do, I mean…*waves wrist*

YT: Compliment. It's a lovely compliment. He, uh…not your type, eh? *stifles giggles*

AC: Nooooooooooooooooooot exactly. 

YT: *makes transaction* Can I give you my number? *dead serious face*

AC: Bitch. See you tomorrow. 

YT: Love ya! Byyyyyyyye!!!!!


 CAVEAT: This makes me sound like a COLOSSAL BITCH, and I really felt bad for the poor, clueless dude, UNTIL!!!!!!!!! I walked out to the parking lot and OH MY GODDY, he was using the SAME LINE on a woman walking into Walgreens!!!!!!!! I swear to Jebuddah, he was giving out his number, using the SAME LINE to someone else! So I don't feel bad, because he's a trickster. Also, it was hilarious.  


Just Another Trip To The Drug Store: A Short Play — 4 Comments

  1. I’m so glad I’m not the only one who knows the staff at my pharmacy (a little too well)!!! I use the drive through and they just say “Hi Lisa.”
    Poor AC at the register. The type of boys who hit on girls at their workplace are not the type to notice obvious signs that they are not interested (tattoo, wedding ring, whatever).

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