To Whom It May Concern:
Hello! Consider this a very informal yet quite serious inquiry regarding your hiring practices. You see, my two friends and I have a dream, and it involves you, oh wonderful A&E Network Channels. We are three adult females, neither professional actors nor death fetishists, just huge fans of your reenactment programs and we are, shall we say, "dying" to play corpses in one of your shows.
Yes! We are serious. Dead serious. Turn of the century prostitutes? We're there. Leprosy? The galloping consumption? Wonderful! We're big fans of special effects makeup and will be more than patient in any preparation we would have to undergo in order to be part of your fascinating programming. The more elaborate the better. We're not looking for SAG credit, we have no Hollywood dreams. This is, and I know the puns are getting very old, a bucket list dream of ours, and only YOU can make it come true.
Thank you for your time, and of course, your good humor,
Very sincerely, we remain your dedicated fans,
Miss Banshee, ElleVee, and Laroux74
PS: We can play dead really, really well. We're excellent nappers.
PPS: I cannot emphasize how much this would mean to us. It's not just a dream, it's a QUEST.