Common Sense: Um. Hi.
Me: *flees, dives under couch*
CS: Please come out.
Me: No. You’ve changed, you’re very mean, and after yesterday I can’t deal with mean. Not today.
CS: It wasn’t me.
Me: Yes it WAS. Little voice in my head? Nagging me all the time? THAT’S YOU.
CS: That was my evil twin, Paranoia.
Me: *sticks head out from under couch* Evil twin? We watch too many soap operas. *pops back under couch*
CS: Seriously, though. Paranoia looks just like me, sounds just like me, she’s just…evil.
Me: Well whoever’s been talking in my head lately, I don’t like it one bit. Make it stop.
CS: *sighs* Trying.
Me: Try harder.
CS: Trying as best as I can. She’s a stubborn bitch.
Me: *pokes head out* It’s really you?
CS: Yes. It’s really me. She had me tied up in the broom closet.
Me: *ducks under couch again* We don’t have a broom closet.
CS: Work with me here.
Me: FINE. *climbs out from under couch* So what do you have to say?
CS: I’m pretty impressed, actually, is what I wanted to say.
CS: With how you’ve been handling things. I mean, it’s been pretty bad.
Me: PRETTY BAD? *hysterical laughing*
CS: Okay, REALLY bad. But you’re still here. You’re fighting the good fight.
Me: *scowls* Of course I am, that’s all I damn do is fight. That’s apparently my JOB. I should have a cape.
CS: I gotta say, I’m glad I’m back.
Me: We’ll see. What about Paranoia?
CS: She’s trying to gnaw through the ropes. Can you hear her?
CS: Sorry. I’m trying, she’s wicked strong. I’ll go duct tape her fool mouth again.
Me: I’d appreciate that.
CS: Missed you.
Me: I missed you too.