I lost a friend today. Or someone I considered a friend. Apparently, this, my status message on bloody Facebook of all things, was enough to be bullied to tears by someone who I have known for over a decade.
“Don’t feel bad if you don’t wear purple today. Feel bad if you don’t stand up to homophobia”
My statement was that the anti-bullying movement and support of the LGBT community, especially the young people, is not a a symbol we can wear on a shirt. It’s an action we have to be proactive at. I didn’t wear purple today. But I lost a friend who thinks there’s nothing wrong with bullying others, even me, his own friend, another ADULT, to tears.
I hate that I cry at the drop of a hat, that I wear my emotions on my sleeve, but as I read the comments made with such blatant disregard to my feelings, the feelings of other people who could visit my page, including my parents, and my LGBT friends especially, I sobbed. It’s a weakness of mine I own up to, and have dealt with since I was a bullied child.
Obviously, this really has little to do with my friend, or wearing purple, or homophobia, really. It has to do with me. My beliefs. What I am willing to stand up for and damn the consequences. I didn’t want to engage in name calling and hateful words. Not on MY page. Not for MY friends to see. When he “defriended” me, I stopped crying and began thinking, really thinking, about what had just happened.
We live behind computer screens, tapping out opinions that we may never have the strength to say face to face. But I am the same person behind the screen as I am looking someone in the eyes. My friend’s words burned me, and I cried, and he made a dramatic statement in defriending me. That our friendship was not worth a discussion, or even a full blown knock down drag out fight, to preserve.
I stand by what I write. Here, and everywhere else that bears my signature. I make mistakes, sometimes huge ones, public ones, embarrassing and humiliating ones. I make bad decisions. I screw the fuck up sometimes. Hardcore fucking up.
But I didn’t today. I lost a friend, but I stood by my word. And the tears were worth it.
Love is love, people. When are we ever going to stop fighting about LOVE?