Thoughts From The Smokers’ Lounge

I do my best thinking when I’m outside on my porch, smoking and eavesdropping on my neighbors as they fight. It’s also where I see Mr. Outside Cat, and fill him in on where I am, brainpan wise, where I check on Aw, An Old Man, and wonder about things and stuff as I puff away like I own the place.

I don’t really own the place.

The cutting down on smoking thing has been easier than I thought, I just made it a new rule. New Rule! Nooooo smoking in the car. Not the hardest thing in the world, I rarely drive long distances, as I HATE driving, and smoking while driving is a distraction, and trust me, between the crap radio station I listen to for all my Bon Jovi and Lady Gaga needs (I hear you judging me, why don’t you just zip it, I don’t have a cd player in my car, okay???) and the abject panic of driving in general, I don’t need another distraction. So it hasn’t been too bad.

I’ve also tried to cut down at home, as it is  the end of the month and money is non-existent, so I buy 100s and smoke half of one, put it out, and then next time I want to smoke, I smoke the other half. It satisfies my OCD craving of the ritual of smoking with half the consumption.

I’ll probably get the galloping consumption from smoking.

The weather has started to turn, which I enjoy immensely. I hated living places that had no seasons, it just seemed…wrong, like we were being gypped out of a tradition. I love getting hoodies and sweaters out for the fall, and the weather is perfect for my hat collection, which is always a treat. So I love fall. It’s not icy out yet, but it’s not fourteen million degrees like it was all summer. I dislike that immensely. I am a delicate flower, and I wilt in the heat.

Actually I sweat like a fieldhand, and that is decidedly Not Cute, so…welcome Fall! It’s good to have you back.

Oh hi, Mr. Outside Cat! How are you this morning? Yeah, it’s super early. No, I have no idea if it was Daylight Savings last night or not. All my clocks turn automatically, so I’ll have to check in the car if the time changed. Nah, I can’t be buggered to do it now. Does it really matter, in the long run? It will still be earlier than I needed to get up, and yet another day that I’m up with the dawn because of the damn cats.

Oh not you, Mr. Outside. You never wake me up, it’s the little bastards I have inside that wake me up. Yeah, it blows. Pardon my language, Mr. Outside, how terribly uncouth of me. Yeah, it’s something I really have to work on, the potty mouth. Oh, I swear like a drunken sailor, it runs in the family. No, it’s fine around them, it’s on the internet that I have to be careful. Well I don’t want to offend anyone, I mean, my lordo, I put up a pic of my bellybutton and people went bonkers. My bellybutton! Offends delicate constitutions, I suppose. Oh do you like it? It’s new. A little silly, I know, but it’s got fake rubies in it! And I got the go ahead from Facebook that if I want to bling out my bellybutton I should go right ahead, and hot damn, I’m going to. Thank you, Mr. Outside, I like it too.

Is there anything else I should cover? Meet The Press is on in half an hour and I should do some real work before then. I think I’ve yammered quite enough. Well, thanks for joining me on the porch, let’s do this again soon, okay? But I really am going to quit soon, really.

Just not today.


Thoughts From The Smokers’ Lounge — 5 Comments

  1. I miss smoking on my balcony and eavesdropping on my neighbors. Also, we don’t have to change our clocks until the 7th. I checked because your post made me realize that I hadn’t even thought of that and had no idea when it was. So thank you. Also, New York area radio sucks donkey balls.
    Jerseygirl89 last post: It’s Official I Suck

    • MissBanshee’s tech gnome here.

      You iz not stoopid… I haven’t finished the button work yet. I will put a link in the navigation bar right about now though.

  2. You’ll quit when you quit. I quit in the most long drawn out way you can imagine… the whole process was years… I chunked it (while not quite admitting to myself at the time that is what I was doing.)

    First I stopped at smoking at breaks at work (well, work sort of did that to me because there was no longer a smoking area), then I stopped smoking in the car… a year or two later I moved in with my now husband and stopped smoking at home (that was the toughest and I wept a few times)…. eventually I was only smoking on the porch outside at night (one or two cigarettes per day…down from a pack a day at one point, or close to it)… This went for a year or two then I got pregnant and never smoked again. And have really never wanted to, which is something I would have never thought possible.

    Worked for me because I didn’t actually tell myself I was quitting…which for me would have derailed it….

  3. Call me silly–but I worry about Mr. Outside Cat. Does he have a real home and just likes getting out for a walk and some fresh air? My heart would hurt if he is without a home. I’m too much of a softy, goddamnit.

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