Common Sense: Write.
Me: I’m trying.
CS: Try harder.
Me: I’ve started three times. It goes nowhere today. I can’t think of a topic.
CS: There has to be something you can share with your…what do you call them again?
Me: My beloved little squirrels?
CS: Yes, that. Share something with the squirrels.
Me: I’ve been TRYING. I keep dumping the ideas.
Me: Because they’re complete crap.
CS: They’re not complete crap. they’re things you don’t want to talk about because of Paranoia.
Me: Well could you shut her up, please? She’s getting louder every day. We need more duct tape.
CS: We see Dr. Doolittle at 4:00.
Me: No no. Tomorrow. We see Dr. Doolittle on Wednesdays.
CS: Not this month we don’t.
Me: WEDNESDAYS AT FOUR. THIS IS TUESDAY.
CS: And we have an appointment today. It’s not till 4, calm down, it’s barely 11 am.
Me: This isn’t the right DAY.
CS: Oh my lordo, is your OCD really that bad? Come on. It’s today. It’s at 4. It’s NO BIG DEAL.
Me: *throws hands up* It’s on the wrong day. Now I’m going to be messed up ALL DAY.
CS: No you’re NOT. You’d be messed up if you FORGOT it was Tuesday instead of Wednesday and missed the appointment. You remembered. *I* remembered. That’s good! This is a good thing, why are you making this a bad thing?
Me: *wibble* It’s supposed to be on Wednesdays.
CS: We need to talk about the whole OCD thing. This is supposed to be getting better.
CS: Are you going to sulk the day away because you have to see the doctor on a Tuesday instead of a Wednesday? Are we REALLY going to do this dance?
Me: The whole day is ruined. Now I have to put on real pants, go to the gas station, drive all the way to the doctor’s, ENDURE HIM for 20 minutes and drive ALL THE WAY BACK HOME.
CS: Which you do every month.
Me: *shrieking* ON A WEDNESDAY!
CS: Allow me to lend you a ladder so you can GET THE HELL OVER IT.
CS: Today’s going to be AWESOME.