Me: Strike! Strike! I’m going on strike!
The World: What are you on about?
Me: I don’t wanna write today! Strike! Strike! Attica!
The World: Oh that’s clever. You don’t want to write so you’re writing about not wanting to write? That’s just adorable.
Me: *flounces on fainting couch* Harumph.
The World: What the hell is wrong with you? Nothing bad is happening, what’s with the growly puss, please?
Me: I dunno. The muse isn’t moving me.
The World: Well what’s going on? Start with new business. You have the floor.
Me: I’m really sleepy.
The World: Our hearts, they bleed.
Me: And crabby! I’m tired and crabby.
The World: Tough tatas, honey. Make with the funny.
Me: I am not some sort of performing ANIMAL. I can’t just BE FUNNY when I’m sleepy and crabby!
The World: Actually you’re hilarious when you’re grouchy. Like a tiny, impotent rage muffin.
Me: Rage muffin? What am I talking about?
The World: We’re just here for the stash of candy you have behind the couch cushion.
Me: I HAVE NO SUCH THING I WILL NOT STAND IDLY BY AND BE LIED ABOUT WITH SUCH LIES THAT FALL FROM YOUR FACE!
The World: See? Tiny, impotent rage muffin. With a wretched habit of overusing the caps lock.
Me: It’s for EMPHASIS.
The World: It’s annoying and shouty. Kind of like you!
Me: Ah. So this is how it is going to be. You’re just going to make fun of me today. That’s nice.
The World: But you make it so EASY.
Me: Rage muffin? Seriously? That’s the best we could come up with this morning?
The World: Beggars can’t be choosers. Make some coffee.
Me: COFFEE! I forgot about coffee! It’s 10:30 and I haven’t had coffee yet, what the hell is wrong with me?
The World: Oh, where to start…
Me: I won’t be a rage muffin if I get some coffee. Coffee! Yay!
The World: Go. Fly free, little monkey.
Me: COFFEE! What a grand idea!