Um, hi. Remember me? That asshole with the blog who wandered away and never gave any notice? Just…stopped coming in to work? THAT jackass? That’s me. Hi. I’m here, people. I have no idea if even ONE of you gives a fiddler’s fart anymore, but by gum I’m gonna write today. If for nothing else than I have things to SAY and GESTICULATE and ARMFLAIL and all that nonsense that I’m constantly doing. So let’s get started, shall we?
I’ve been a little busy. Tied up. (Not like THAT, jeebie chrizzie, people) and the blog got neglected. Neglected like a redheaded cat who shall remain nameless, but also managed to destroy an entire roll of toilet paper last night. That kind of neglect. The kind where you’re unceremoniously dumped out of the bathroom and have doors slammed millimeters from your geedee ginger tail.
Also, I had houseguests. I KNOW, this is all very exciting. Laroux and Ellevee were here for A Very Harry Potter Weekend, and we had a grand time on our journey, NAY! Our QUEST for the Imax theater in Hamilton NJ which is exactly NOWHERE NEAR WHERE I LIVE. So Ellevee drove, and we didn’t die, because she is made of awesome and candy, but we DID sit in traffic for 2 hours, and I DID have a massive panic attack because I had forgotten my phone at home and that, of course, meant that the Doom was coming and the apartment burned down and everyone up and DIED and there was no way of knowing because I had forgotten my little red phone. None of these things happened. Everything was fine. Also Outpost31 didn’t die in a massive pile-up on a freeway in LA. Also a concern during the freakout. It was a bad day. A wonderful movie, some insanely fantastic company, but a baaaaaad day. Also Ellevee brought cookies. Cookies that may be gone now. All gone. Into my belly.
Hey, let’s talk about Outpost31! And let’s talk about how he’s coming to visit in TEN DAYS AH MAH GAH and this place is a pit and there’s cat dander everywhere and he’ll hate me forever and WAIT A DAMN MINUTE. NONE of these things are going to happen. We’re going to have an amazingly awesome time, and all will be well, and call off the dogs, and everything will be FINE. More than fine. Wonderful. Because Outpost31 and I are like peas and carrots, except not frozen or boiled or NASTY. So not this weekend but next? I’m booked. Don’t look for me on the internet. Heehee.
Okay, now I’m officially rambling. Let’s look at some cats.