Me: This doesn’t look like HD TV.
The World: Shut up, it is.
Me: Bah. Fah!
The World: Be quiet and appreciate the CLARITY. The SCOPE.
Me: *scowls* I don’t see it.
The World: You need new glasses.
Me: OH. Blame it on my glasses. That’s fine. You go right ahead and think that, if that makes you feel good to think that.
The World: DUDE. Your television is TWELVE YEARS OLD. This is the future! This is Hi-Def!
Me: This is crap.
The World: You? Suck. This is awesome. You just need new glasses.
Me: Crap teevee.
The World: CRAP GLASSES.
Me: CRAP TEEVEE.
The World: CRAP GLASSES, DAMMIT!
Me: There’s no need to shout.
The World: You were mean. What did that poor television ever do to you? Your father LOVES this television! How dare you be such a pain in the ass?!
Me: *squints* I don’t see it.
The World: *tears hair, rips garments*
Me: There’s no need to be dramatic.
The World: Don’t you SEE?!?!?!?!? The football!!!! It’s in HI DEF!!!!!
Me: *squints* Still looks like dumb old football to me.
The World: You need new glasses. And I need a Klonopin.
Me: They’re in the kitchen.
The World: I’M TAKING TWO.
Me: Feel free.
The World: You are exceedingly annoying.
Me: So I’ve been told.
The World: HI DEF!
Me: Yeah, I don’t see it.
The World: *FACEPALM*