Mom Banshee: Hey. In Twilight, is Jacob a good guy or a bad guy?
Me: *weeps laughing* Good guy. WHY are you asking me this? *crying laughing*
Mom: Well Dad picked up a figure of Jacob at Physical Therapy cause we have the church toy drive and I was wondering if he’s good or bad.
Me: *sobbing* He’s a good guy. And tormented. And a werewolf.
Me: I cannot control my laughing right now.
Mom: He’s not wearing a shirt.
Me: *SCREAMING LAUGHING* He never wears a shirt, he’s tormented. And a werewolf.
Mom: Just pants. and a tattoo.
Me: *inconsolable shrieking laughter*
Me: Nothing…you won’t understand…it’s nothing.
Mom: I was just wondering. I’ve got to get back to my tetrizzini.
Me: BYE! *falls apart laughing*