Notice cat has ucky eyes. Notice that cat resembles small pirate.
No respone. Inspect cat further.
See that cat is sneezing all over self.
Shower, rinse, repeat.
Notice cat is rather pitiful, looking sad and leaky
Groan in horror at the leaking, realize it’s time to call Dr. Peggy
Dr Peggy assigns eye gel to cat, and instructs self to look for “abnormal discharge”
Imagine life with goldfish
Look sadly at sneezing, coughing, eye-drooling cat with pity
Begin to feel psycho-somatic pink eye symptoms
Scrub eyes with soap
Scrub eyes with soap again
Irritate eyes more
Wake up. Make sure sneezy weepy cat is still alive
Do small dance
Drive uphill both ways in the snow barefoot to Dr. Peggy
Go to hell for lying
But It was uphill one way
Receive eye cream for cat
Drive home (downhill)
Purr at cat
Speak softly to cat
Promise pony to cat
Grab cat’s eye and squirt gel in
Cower and bleed
Watch cat stagger around apartment like small pirate
Echo “Arr! Arr! Arr!” as cat bumps into furniture
Laugh face off
Stare at sickly cat.