Lies!

Outpost31: *Wakes up, removes earplugs*

Me: *raises eyebrow*

Outpost31: Good morning, baby

Me: What’s with the earplugs? The construction outside hasn’t even started yet.

Outpost31: Well…

Me: Yes?

Outpost31: Now don’t get me wrong…

Me: yeeeeeeeeees?

Outpost31: But…you know I love you, right?

Me: Yes, I know that, I love you too. What’s with the earplugs?

Outpost31: You…Baby…You snore.

Me: No I don’t.

Outpost31: Yes. Yes you do.

Me: NO I DON’T.

Outpost31: Baby, you snore like an outboard motor. I don’t know why, but…you do.

Me: Why do you sit on a throne of lies?

Outpost31: I DON’T sit on a throne of lies, YOU snore.

Me: No I don’t, I’m a lady.

Outpost31: A lady who snores.

Me: I DO NOT SNORE.

Outpost31: And you drool. You’re kind of a mess when you sleep.

Me: LIES! KING OF LIES!

Outpost31: And you completely hog the bed and I can’t move you because you sleep like the DEAD.

Me: Why do you hate me so?

Outpost31: I love you. You snoring, drooling, bed hogging freak.

Me: I am a lady. None of this is true. I don’t know why you are so cruel.

Outpost31: Well I don’t know why you sleep like a St. Bernard dog.

Me: Lies.

Outpost31: Truth.

Me: *flounces away indignantly, scowl firmly in place*

Outpost31: *calling after me* THERE”S A DROOL MARK ON MY PILLOW.

Me: I CANNOT HEAR YOU. I AM A LADY.

Outpost31: *headdesk*


Comments

Lies! — 8 Comments

  1. It’s all true. The snoring, the bed-hogging, and though I can’t speak to the drool, I imagine it’s true. Miss Banshee sleeps with wild abandon!

    Outpost31 tells the truth! It is Miss Banshee who sits upon a throne of lies.
    Snarky Amber last post: Where are you

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