I’m All Mortal Kombat Up In This Beesh, Man

So Outpost31 is teaching me how to fight. Not verbally or emotionally, that I can handle quite easily by myself. No, he’s got me delivering punches and kicks and ELBOWS TO THE TEETH and he’s bound and determined that someday, somehow, I will be able to deliver one of these fierce death blows without tipping over off my feet. Like I’ve always said, I was born with the wrong set of feet. These are far too small for my height and I have zero coordination, so yeah. The falling. I’m much better at the falling than I am at the punching.

This is not to say that I don’t ENJOY the punching and the kicking and the DEATH ELBOWS because I do. I love punching and kicking and delivering BLOWS OF DEATH, I’m just not very good at it. And then something curious happened this morning. I woke up after torturing Outpost31 all night with my snoring (I’m beginning to fear that he’s not making this up, y’all) and lifted my arm to scrub my hair so I look like Don King. It’s a look, I just go for it, man.

ANYWAY! I lifted my arm to scritch my head and ow! OW! There was pain! In my arm! More specifically, the underside part of my upper arm HURT, DAMMIT. I tested the other arm. OW! More pains!!! What had happened to me? I didn’t know that THAT part of a person could hurt. Triceps, Google tells me. My triceps hurt. Did you know I had triceps? I did not. The more you know! (rainbow)

So I’m tough, man. TOUGH!!! A punching, kicking, elbowing fool, and I only knocked over Outpost31’s speaker once as I flailed around trying not to fall the hell down. There’s no possible way this could end badly or with me in traction, right? Sure!


I’m All Mortal Kombat Up In This Beesh, Man — 4 Comments

  1. Yay! I whole heartedly urge more women to learn how to fight, not matter how uncoordinated they feel. It’s not only a healthy exercise, but it’s useful as well. Good going and good luck!

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