Highly Illogical

Me: Time to go to group!

Common Sense: Look at us, being all early and stuff. We could even grab a coffee.

Me: Ooooh, coffee. Let’s go do that.

*puts key in ignition. Turns key*

Me: Nothing is happening.

CS: What? Of course something is happening. Turn on the car.

Me: *turns key* Nope. Nothing is happening. The car is dead, dude.

CS: The car can’t be dead, we have places to be today.

Me: *turns key* Totally dead. Well shit.

CS: This is completely illogical. Did you leave the lights on or something?

Me: Nope. I don’t know what’s wrong. Probably the battery.

CS: Completely illogical. We did nothing to cause this! This is crap! We’re going to be late now!

Me: We’re going to be REALLY late. As in, not going in at all.

CS: But that’s not part of the treatment plan.

Me: Can YOU fix a car?

CS: Of course not.

Me: Then we’re stuck here. Let’s go inside and turn on the TV.

CS: We have to go!

Me: WE ARE NOT GOING ANYWHERE. Accept it and move on, isn’t that what you’re ALWAYS telling me?

CS: This doesn’t make any sense. I’m furious.

Me: I’m not. C’mon, let’s go watch television and write a blog. We’ll go to group when the car is fixed.

CS: We need Dad.

Me: Dad’s busy. WE ARE NOT GOING OUT TODAY. It’s just the way things are.

CS: I don’t like it when I can’t fix things.

Me: I know. Trust me, I know.

CS: I don’t know what to do now.

Me: Inside. Television. Snack. Calm down, the world isn’t ending. Hey, aren’t I kind of doing YOUR job right now? What’s the deal, man?

CS: I survive on logic and reason. And nothing lately has made any sense, been logical, or reasonable.

Me: You’re telling me. Come on, we’ve got a day to ourselves. Let’s go be lazy.

CS: Fine. But I’m doing this under protest.

Me: Good enough for me.