The Oblitagory Apocalypse Entry
Ah, it’s the end of the world as we know it, right? I have been informed that it will occur starting at 6 pm (EDT) so I have well over 24 hours to acquire or achieve the following:
1 (one) sexual partner (gender does not matter)
1 (one) limousine (stretch) but not an SUV (tacky)
1 (one) pizza (large) vegetarian, please
1 (one) Philly style cheesesteak (wit’ caramelized onions)
4 (four) pints Ben and Jerry’s ice cream (Bonnaroo Buzz)
1 (one) limo drive to my family’s home (after the sex and the food)
1 (one) properly prepared litterbox (non-clumping), 24 pack very expensive cat food
2 (two) helpers to achieve toting box and 3 (three) psychotic cats to and from the limousine
1 (one) fully stocked (this is important!) wet bar. (Hey, it’s the last day of the world, I’m going out with a bang)
1 (one) carton Parliament Lights cigarettes
1 (one) fully functional cell phone, 1 (one) fully functional Skype connection
Hmm. Am I missing anything? OH!!!
1 (one) fully open internet, cable and phone connection
Please let me know if I missed anything. We have about a day and a half to do this, my beloved squirrels!!!!