I think I’m losing it, my beloved squirrels.
Are you still there, my squirrels? Do you still read this little piece of the internet? Am I all on my own-ey?
I’ve been at my parents’ house since I last got out of the hospital , and I think I can safely say that all involved agree that it is time for me to GO THE HELL HOME. I want to go back to my apartment, my parents want their empty nest back, I can’t endure many more nights hanging off the end of my twin bed in my old bedroom as my woobie and all three cats occupy the majority of it. My family is sick and damn tired of LOOKING at each other. We did it, all four of us (my brother included) for seven days. In the dark. LOOKING at each other. My brother escaped back to NYC today. So now it’s the three of us, until the power comes back in my apartment. That could be any time from right now till June. We’ll have to wait and see. My development’s power grid can be knocked offline with a hearty sneeze, after all.
I look at the video from LBI, Rockaway Beach, Staten Island, and Breezy Point, and I feel like the world’s biggest asshole. Gawd, we got so freaking lucky. So damn lucky.
I’ve been trying to entertain myself. When the power was off, I read all 1040 pages of “It” by Stephen King, and piggybacked it with over 700 pages of “The Stand” by the aforementioned Uncle Stevie. Now I’m back to terrible cable shows (holla, Bridezillas!) and having serious guilt about being able to stay over here and enjoy things like showers, cable, internet, and properly cooked food. Right this minute, I’m thinking “holy shit, people have lost EVERYTHING. You’re bitching about your family being CRANKY. You ASS.” But I have a feeling a lot of people are feeling the same way, right or wrong.
I just want to go home. I’m grateful, incredibly grateful, that I don’t only have my parents’ house to go to in the case of an emergency, but that they took me in AND all three cats. I’m so, so grateful.
But if I don’t get out of here soon, there is going to be some serious ugliness going on. We’re just sick of looking at each other. We need to resume our lives.
Until then, I’ll be making things like this:
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAND this, the most important of ALL.