Y’all? My typey fingers are so tired today. Spent the whole afternoon typing out all of my grandfather’s letters from WWII to give to my mom, uncle, and cousins, so I’m feeling like I’m back in grad school after spending all night typing out some bullshit research paper. But I have not forgotten you, my beloved squirrels! And I thought of you all today, yes I did. Right in the middle of group therapy, one of my fellow loons said that the racing thoughts he gets at night are like a bunch of squirrels running around in his head. I thought two things, one that OMG, that’s the perfect way to describe racing thoughts – I get them too, terribly. At night, I put an audiobook on my iPod and sleep with it running, because my own brain-squirrels are so loud. The second thought I had was “Don’t say ‘Aw, my beloved little squirrels’ because you will never stop giggling, and this is a vair serious situation. DON’T BE INAPPROPRIATE!”
I didn’t giggle. Much. Heehee. Brain squirrels.
But brain squirrels are not good squirrels, like you all are. They’re more like this:
Bad brain squirrel! Bad!!!
My brain squirrels have been working overtime lately. I’ve been bouncing from despondent to paranoid to jittery, and I just can’t get my brain to shut the hell up. Last night, I was texting with a friend of mine, and listening to the new Amanda Palmer album, and I BURST into tears. I haven’t cried in quite some time, and it really took me by surprise. It was like I was walking down the street and fell into this:
Um…little help here?
Then I made a playlist of Songs To Sit In The Dark And Stare At The Wall To, and went to bed. Then my possessed iPod started acting up. Did I tell you that my iPod is haunted? Yep. It stops and starts and the volume goes up and down and it skips all around and sometimes just quits entirely unless I have it locked. Great, the girl from The Ring is in my iPod. That’s all I need.
First she kills you, then she tells your friends you were listening to “Twilight”. Bitch.
So I’m a blubbering mess, and my iPod has a dead girl in it, and I think I’ve found every single depressing song ever written, and SHUT UP BRAIN SQUIRRELS I DO NOT LIKE YOU.
And just when I think everything is bad and isn’t going to get better, Toby sticks his little paw under the door and scares the living shit out of my parents’ dog and it is SO FUNNY and maybe not everything is completely horrible. So there’s that.
In closing, do y’all want to read more of my Papa’s letters from WWII? I can do another post with more of his writing if’n you want. Let me know in the comments.
You all are good squirrels. I love ya. It’s true.