Banshee’s Back, ALL RIGHT!

Wow, that sounds ominous, does it not? Lemme explain. No, lemme sum up. I kinda lost 2013. Don’t know where I put it. Perhaps in my other pants. Those of you who know me from real life or Facebook or whatever, carrier pigeons, maybe, know that I’ve been in a rehab facility since July.  Before that, I was in the hospital/psych ward/hospital/psych ward and lather, rinse, repeat, for most of the year, when I wasn’t blind drunk. So you know, status quo.

I’m being lighthearted about all of this right now because in all honesty, I’m a little scared of writing about everything that’s been going on. So the long and the short of it is that I’ve been living in a rehab house in Massachusetts, getting my life back together. I’ve got 106 days sober, and I’ll be here until the end of November. Then it’s back to Jersey and getting my life back. It’s been too long, my beloved little squirrels. Too long indeed.

So that’s the story in an itsy witsy nutshell. I’m healing. I am vowing that I will never set foot in another psych ward again. And I am working my ASS off here. The reason I haven’t been writing is obviously that I live with a bunch of other people, and I can’t write about them because of confidentiality laws and also because I’m not an asshole. So let’s just say (because it’s the truth and I can’t stop telling the truth these days, there’s something in the water here, I swear) that I love them all and we’re really a family up in here. It’s something I’m super grateful for.

Lest you think I’ve gotten all Pollyanna on you, I assure you that I am still the same wise ass motherfucker you’ve always known, just without the haze of vodka. I’m also getting some serious mental health treatment at McLean Hospital (that’s the place from “Girl Interrupted” and yes, the tunnels are real) and although it is as far from easy as it can be, I think I’m doing pretty well. I’ve still got some time here and whoa nelly, will things be a-changin’ once I get back to Jersey, but all in all, life is as good as it’s going to get given the circumstances right now.

So what CAN I tell you? Oh, the blog is going to be getting revamped – I discovered iPiccy, and I’m playing around a lot with photos for the new header and stuff along with my tech wizard and pal Cultural Savage. He’s a good egg. Hmm, what else? I got new glasses and a haircut, that’s good:

It's like Clark Kent with ladyparts.

It’s like Clark Kent with ladyparts.

And I’m back in my beloved Boston, which means it is no longer dangerous to wear my Red Sox paraphernalia around town. Which is good, because RED SOX NATION, BABY! And also the idiots in Harvard Square are still idiots, which is almost comforting in a way. This is my brain on Harvard Square:

Get out of my way. Shut up. Move faster. Stop taking pictures. Get out of my way. Cross the damn street. Put away your phone. No I will not take your picture. Stop asking me for money. Get out of my way. Learn to maneuver a sidewalk. Stop trying to sell me Jesus. Get out of my way.

And so on, and so forth. My mom thinks it’s the New Yorker in me coming out, but it’s all Boston, baby. Sure there’s part of me that wants to stay forever and ever, but I WILL be returning to Jersey, because there are three leetle keetens who I miss TERRIBLY and are currently living it up at my parents’ house, where they bounce around the place confusing the dog and curl up with my dad to watch television. So I’m relieved about that.

These days, I spend a great deal of time on the BUS, and the BUS sucks, because it’s the BUS, but sometimes there are cute boys, and I always have my iPod (which I will always call my Walkman, even when I am 93 years old, because I am a child of the 80s and it’s a WALKMAN, DAMMIT) and my incessant crocheting projects, and if you ever want every single old lady on the bus to be your new best friend, crochet on the bus, because WHOA do they love that.  I made this:

I'm a Happy Hooker

I’m a Happy Hooker

and I’m in the process of making a blankie for my friend Dina’s little boy, and THEN maybe I’ll make a blankie for YOU! Line forms to the left.

I find that the crocheting helps my NERVES like when I am in boring GROUPS and MEETINGS and watching TEEVEE and of course on the BUS. Because what have we learned, my beloved squirrels? That’s right, the bus sucks.

With that, I’m going to skitter off, but thank you, all of you, even YOU, for continuing to read – please let me know in the comments that you’re still around. I love every single one of you from your dye job to your pedicures.


Banshee’s Back, ALL RIGHT! — 33 Comments

  1. So glad you’re back to blogging, even though FB has eased the pain of missing you somewhat.

    I’m also glad you’ll be sitting on the sober bench with me and Schmutzie and Lisa Page Rosenberg and Julie Marsh and Heather of the EO and so on and on. We’re good people!
    Suebob last post: Random Ramblings of a Lunatic

  2. I’m here. I’ve been checking back occasionally and (maybe) a little worried. I was hoping you were ok. So glad to hear that you are.
    (Is it creepy or just strange to be worried about someone you only “know” through a blog? Either way…I’m sending good thoughts to you!)

  3. Snoopy happy dance!!! Hugs to you Miss B. Oh and hell yes, Red Sox Nation! I’m envious that you’re in Bean Town at a time like this. While you’re at it, go have a seat on “the wall” for me.

  4. So glad to see a new blog. I’ve been stalking you on Tumblr and Twitter so I knew you were around but this is way better. And even better than a new blog post? Hearing that you’re getting better (which will probably lead to more blog posts. It’s a vicious cycle of good)!

  5. OMG! It’s so good to see you back! I wish I knew all the right, most positive supportive stuff today, but honestly I’m kinda dumb about those things and I say the wrong thing a lot.

    So I’ll just say this: It’s awesome to have you back and Go Team You!

  6. Girl,still here in Savannah glad your doing well,so happy your feeling fine….when your home I’ll send your goth arse some cheesy grits….be well kitten

  7. Oh yeah,been making rag rugs,hooking like a cheap dime store slut,in order to keep the edges flat add 2 more stitches ,keeps me sane and sober too!

  8. i am SO glad you’re back, and that you seem to be doing SO WELL. let me know if you start making “hipster scarves” because i’ll place an order and PAY MONEY and everything.

  9. So glad to hear you’re still here and doing well. So sorry you’ve been going through all of this but glad to be able to read your writing again! Big hugs from Baltimore!

  10. Yay! I’ve been checking in every couple weeks or so to see if you’ve returned. I’m so happy you’re in a good place. Keep writing!

  11. Some years it’d be nice just to have a “do-over.” As someone who adores you from Twitter, I’m so proud of you for making your way back from everything you’ve been through. I’m thinking hell would be an understatement. You do what you need to to take care of yourself FIRST and ALWAYS. We (your minions on the Internet) will be here and waiting for you! It’s awesome that you’ve taken up crocheting. Idle hands and all, you know?! 😉 The fact that you’re able to ride the bus so often is amazing. (That has to be the single most stupid thing I’ve ever written as a blog comment but…) Life is hard. I’ve found saying “Another Day Conquered” every day helps!
    Chrisor last post: The Gift Of An Asswipe

  12. My beloved Miss Banshee! *runs up and gives you squeezy hugs and multiple kisses* Words really can’t cover how happy I am to see you here again. I’m even happier to see that you’re working your ass off to shove those demons back to demon-land and that you’re sober. I cried when I saw that. Really. I’ve been rooting for you and hoping those asshole demons don’t trample you.
    You’ve given me one really solid bit of knowledge that I take to heart and share with my friends who are fighting their own whack-a-mole demons– namely to SAY SOMETHING IF YOU DONT FEEL RIGHT. That bit of advice, from a post written some time ago, got me to my doctor when my psych med stopped working and I didn’t want to do anything but be unconscious. She added another med to the mix and that, fortunately, worked. I just wanted you to know that your writing made a difference in my life, sweetie, and I’m so happy to see you back.

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