Many people are making waves about the “American Blogger” movie that’s coming out soon. I’ve only seen the trailer, which made me almost bust my spleen laughing. And not in a good way. I’m not a movie critic or a studio executive or a screenplay writer. But I am a blogger.
I’m a real life American Blogger. My dye job comes from a box, my food comes from chipping away at the ice in the freezer and excavating a frozen pizza. My “kids” are feline and one is currently climbing the curtains. Again.
I’m a real life American Blogger. I have a soft belly, can’t afford a haircut, my bed is never made, and I’ve been known to eat salad out of the bag. My car is falling apart, my apartment is a mess. I spend too much time thinking my life will never be an interesting Facebook post, and that my non-pedicured nails are starting to resemble a velociraptor.
I’m a real life American Blogger. My parents are getting older, and I’m scared to death that I won’t have them around forever and how to deal with that. I haven’t had a boyfriend in three years, and I had Jolly Ranchers for breakfast.
I’m a real life American Blogger. I’ve been in nine psych hospitalizations, three rehab facilities, a coma, and ICU more than once. More than twice. I take seven psych meds a day, with various side effects. My psychiatrist doesn’t listen to me, my psychologist is a saint. I also have a masters degree in social work, because life is funny that way.
I’m a real life American Blogger. I’m on disability for my mental issues, and deal every day with the stigma of that. People are disgusted by me, call me every name in the book, shamed and humiliated me on social media because they think I’m a waste of space and a drain on society.
I’m a real life American Blogger. I have an incredible support system through family and friends. I have people in my life I have only met on the computer who say they are inspired by me. They will never know how much they inspire and encourage me, even in my darkest hours.
I’m a real life American Blogger. I’ve been writing a blog on and off since 2000. That’s fourteen years of pouring words into a computer because they explode out of me and this is better than writing in Sharpie on the walls. I blog because it has saved my life.
I’m a real life American Blogger. No one will ever make a movie out of my life, offer me advertising space on this little corner of the internet. I may never get married, or have kids. Sometimes I feel that’s a good thing, and sometimes it makes a hole in my heart.
I’m a real life American Blogger. My name is Danielle, and I write. And that’s plenty.