I Can’t Think Of Content, Much Less A Title

Common Sense: Will you just SIT DOWN AND WRITE SOMETHING?
Me: Yup.
CS: You’re looking at tattoo ideas.
Me: Yup.
CS: THAT’S NOT WRITING.
Me: Yup.
CS: Are you even listening to me?
Me: Yup.
CS: ARE YOU LYING?
Me: Yup.

So that’s basically what’s been going on since the 12th of whenever. I get all these spectacular ideas, usually when my sleep meds are just kicking in, and I swear to myself that I’ll remember them, and I never do, and the blog gathers even yet still more dust and GAH, WHATEVER.

Seriously, this sullen angst is not a good look on me. I’m far too old to be bellyaching about writing. As a dancer dances, a writer writes. In this particular case, the writer writes about writing, which, hello, meta and overplayed, but what do you want from me, I’m getting back in the swing of things.

Okay, quick recap:

The world has gone to hell. My health went to hell. I got better. Psych meds are good. Donald Trump is a worm-ridden yam with teeth. The holidays are upon us. I can’t write about the goddamn snow because New Jersey has not had a day colder than 60 degrees yet. Tiny and Small continue to be awesome, and they will hopefully freak RIGHT OUT at their Christmas presents. Holden and I are nauseatingly happy in our weird, long distance, nerdy love. Say hi to the nice blog people, Holden.

Holden: HI NICE BLOG PEOPLE!
Me: That all you got?
Holden: ?
Me: Say something funny.
Holden: Eats chutes and leaves.
Me: Okay, you’re not helping. Go back to your game.

I Star Wars’d myself, lookit:

me-lightsaber

I learned the hard way that I am not mentally and emotionally able to work yet. I tried, I failed, I’ll try again someday. I lost a lot of people this year. Too many. One would have been too many, of course, but fuck, man. I lost a LOT of people. I gained some people too. Good, fine, upstanding people who help me keep my head on straight.

GodDAMMIT, I hate for this to be a post about nothing, but my brain has been fuzzy lately since I started a new mood stabilizer but the side effects seem to be subsiding.

OKAY. I’m signing off. Consider this a placeholder. And get on my ass if I don’t get back here soon, okay? I need to get my groove back.


Comments

I Can’t Think Of Content, Much Less A Title — 1 Comment

  1. Your post…so many feels. Right there with you in losing people, trying to work but failing, etc. Yeah. yay for nerdy love. So glad to see you back here again <3

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